Yes, Sarah was my cousin, but the word cousin does not really capture the nature of the relationship. We were both only children of very close sisters, so we were more like sisters ourselves--only without sibling rivalry. She was three and a half years older, but unlike my friends’ older sisters she never was bossy and never tried to distance herself from her younger cousin.
Instead, she took me under her wing. During our childhood she introduced me to Sherlock Holmes by passing along to me her Arthur Conan Doyle anthology. Decades and decades later when I became a Tolkien fan, she sought out a cassette collection of Tolkien reading aloud from his works and gave it to me. Years later, through these cassettes I brought Mr. Tolkien as a guest speaker to my college students who were reading one of his books. Also thanks to her, we saw Dame Margot Fonteyn and Rudolph Nureyev dance at the Kennedy Center, and on another visit she drove us to Wolf Trap in Virginia for the concert of Aaron Copeland conducting his own work. We both loved music, performances and plays to the extent that her mother, my Aunt Mary, gave us matching powder-blue teeshirts sporting an outline of a vulture and entitled “Culture Vulture.” Stays with Sarah included hours listening to music in her extensive record collection. When she took up Scottish dancing in D.C., I had to give it a try in Memphis where I was living. Years later, we both became fans of figure skating competitions and spent many a phone conversation discussing competitors and their artistry.
Sarah was always a gracious host. She introduced me to the Freer Gallery, one of her favorites because of the Asian arts. She was game to go farther afield—whether to the Botanical Gardens, the Chesapeake Bay, or an old favorite, Mount Vernon. When I was a young French teacher, she even willingly drove me to the French Embassy so I could ask about materials and posters for my classroom.
She was not only like a sibling but was a wonderful traveling companion. Yes, we met up in London where she introduced me to the Tube, London’s subway system, at rush hour. It was baptism by fire and I was glad she was coolly leading the way. We were there in 1977 for the Queen’s Silver Anniversary, and we did indeed see the Queen and the Royal Family in five golden coaches pulled by teams of horses. She also joined me on work-related trips to Chicago, New York City, and Charleston, South Carolina, and made what might have been lonely after-hours great fun. She could handle any big city. In the Big Apple when we were caught in a March snow storm that shut down the city, she intrepidly went out and purchased snow-boots for us. And of course, there was many a trip to Mississippi to see kin in the northeast hill country as well as on the Gulf Coast.
Sarah was a seasoned traveler—many of these solo. Her adventurous spirit led her to Scotland, Quebec City, Mexico, and China. Thanks to her ability to learn other languages including Japanese, she traveled twice to Japan and toured independently there, staying in the equivalent of bed and breakfasts just like a Japanese traveler because she could communicate and understand the culture.
Sarah stood beside me as my Maid of Honor when Steve and I married, and she flew down to stand beside me when my father died unexpectedly while Steve was in Romania giving lectures. Again without hesitation, she came to stand beside me for my mother’s funeral years later.
Sarah and my mother were the family genealogists. Sarah did in-depth, meticulous research and wrote up her findings in a professional way. Her love of family genealogy and her respect for her heritage led her to make visits to the family cemetery an intrinsic part of each trip to Mississippi. She would bring a spare suitcase full of silk flowers and with these and my own we would drive four hours to the cemetery to throw away old flowers and put out fresh ones on the graves of our great-grandparents, grandparents, great-great-aunts, great-aunts, aunts, and parents. It was not at all a morbid occasion but one marked with responsibility and tribute. The day was always capped off with fellowship, food, and photo-taking with family.
Sarah was extremely intelligent and had a detailed, calm, and gentle frame of mind. She was loyal and generous and cared so much about her family and friends. I was blessed to have her as a very important part of my life.
Created: 9 Aug 2022
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